Today's session was a real hoot. First off, this guy can't be held to an appointment time. We'll make an appointment for 2:00, and he'll show up at noon. I think he thinks the actual appointment time is like, some kind of limit, or something...
We first met a couple of weeks ago, because he wanted to record an eleven minute (!!!) R&B song he had written.
Now, right off, I expected trouble. Newbies tend to like to write waaay too many lyrics, and they tend to just sort of ramble in a street of consciousness sort of fashion, rather than have any kin d of structure to their songs, like verse, chorus, bridge, etc.
He needed a "beat" to sing to, so I created him one, and sent him off with it and told him to practice singing to it, and check the timing of his lyrics, to make sure they'd fit a beat. The other endemic symptom of these people is that they write lyrics that are impossible to squeeze into any meter.
Well, he came back today to try a take of the vocals, and not only had he taken none of my advice, he is without a doubt one of the worst singers I've ever heard. He makes William Hung look like Andrea Boccelli. One of the more excruciating hours I've ever spent. Hence the title of the post.
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